Every time I see a story about a recent performance of Charlie Sheen's One Man Traveling Circus, I can't help but think of the scene in Ghostbusters when Dan Ackroyd's character, Ray Stantz, is rambling on after invoking the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Hearing his partner go to pieces, Bill Murray's Peter Venkman dryly notes, "Ray has gone bye-bye . . . ." Charlie, too, has gone bye-bye. And while I'm by no means a fan of Two and a Half Men, I can't help but find this situation interesting simply because it leaves the show's creators with one of the most perplexing of all Hollywood riddles. How does one replace the true star of the show? Here's a clue--the answer is not "John Stamos."
No, Jesse from Full House is never going to be the answer, but, to be fair to Stamos, there probably isn't a viable long-term replacement for Sheen. And that's why I hope that the producers just take the cynical approach and try to find someone who could just help carry the show for a season or two (see Jon Lovits replacing Phil Hartman on News Radio under, obviously, much different circumstances).
Calling James Spader
Ok, I understand the reasons why this cannot possibly work, with the primary reason being that Spader is not really a comic actor. However, in terms of chemistry, I don't think Jon Cryer and Sheen, in all their seasons on Two and a Half Men, have produced anything even approaching this scene from Pretty in Pink. There are just so many things to like in that clip. That feathered hair. That bitchin' (and blousy) white suit. That slouched, I-don't-give-a-f--k shuffle. I don't think you can beat that. As badass as Charlie Sheen thinks he is right now, he's not even in the same league as Spader's Steff.
But it's not just the Steff-Duckie dynamic that would make this such a fun watch. As his turns as the obnoxious Steff and truly evil Rip from Less Than Zero demonstrate, Spader was a master at channeling the dark side of the spoiled, Gen-X rich kid. I'm pretty sure he would be similarly adept at portraying those same douche bags as they enter middle age. Wouldn't it be great to see how Steff is making out today? Probably much better than he deserves. I could just see him as a twice-divorced, Silicon Valley-based venture capitalist who summers on Nantucket, has his pilot's license, wears a scarf in the summer and rocks Façonnable shirts. Can't someone make this work for a least a couple of episodes? As great as this could be, I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm sure the chances of this happening are, well, nah-dah.
No comments:
Post a Comment