Massachusetts--The Commonwealth of Dietrologia

Last week, the addictive Schott's Vocab blog on the New York Times website touted one of my favorite foreign words--"dietrologia." Sometimes translated as "behindology" or "behind-the-scenes-ology," dietrologia is eloquently explained by John Foot in his Winning at All Costs: A Scandalous History of Italian Football as "a science of all-encompassing conspiracy theories, where every event is explained with reference to the machinations of powerful, unseen forces." The reason why I've always like this term is that I've never come across a phrase that so succinctly captures the way many Massachusetts voters perceive their workings of their supposedly hack-infested state government. Indeed, the idea of dietrologia is the bedrock on which the idea of "Hacksachusetts" is built. Essentially, in Massachusetts, dietrologia can function as a kind of political Theory of Everything that is capable of explaining virtually every political appointment, nomination, policy, appropriation or hire. The beauty of this kind of thinking, as Foot noted, is that its "explanations are rarely proved right or wrong and here lies the source of its power." Of course, the instances when dietrologia is proved right--like Italian soccer's quasi-match-fixing calciopoli scandal and the patronage fiasco at Massachusetts's Probate Department--only redouble the strength of its grip on the popular imagination.

And, as the local Massachusetts' media recognized long ago, dietrologia isn't just a mindset, it's a moneymaker. The Boston Herald's Howie Carr, The Boston Globe's Spotlight Team and FOX25, all scramble for scoops that expose the tangled web of public corruption that supposedly underlies even the most mundane details of everyday life. In the Bay State, dietrologia endures because while it may not always be right, it's usually pretty entertaining and, compared to other noxious conspiracy theories (e.g., the 9/11 Truth Movement), it's relatively innocuous. It's just more interesting to believe that the real reason a judicial appointee got the nod was because he is the nephew of the Governor's former driver, not because he was a highly qualified candidate. And, who knows, it might also be true. Ultimately, dietrologia is a guilty pleasure that can be spun by its purveyors as hard, investigative journalism. That's why dietrologia is going to be with us for a long time. It's a word every Massachusetts resident should know.