Chelsea's Narrow Escape v the Canaries--Not Much from Torres, Too Little Caution from Lambert

When I wrote this about Fernando Torres’ industrious performance against Stoke City, I carved out the possibility that his form on that day could be a kind of dead cat bounce for a terminally declining player.  His play in the following two matches (v West Bromwich Albion and Norwich City) suggests that might be the case.  Distressingly, it seems Torres might be turtling back into the shell he occupied for large stretches of last season.  As the chalkboards below indicate, Torres’ passes received have dramatically fallen off since he had 51 against Stoke on the opening weekend.  And while he had 9 take-ons against Stoke and 10 versus WBA, he had a measly 2 (both lost) last BPL weekend.  And it’s not just the stats that tell the story here, as anyone who’s watched Torres play for Chelsea will attest.  Particularly, there was a moment in the 21^st minute of the Norwich City match, when, having been played in by a nice slide-rule pass from Florent Malouda, Torres decided to cut back at the edge of the box and try to find Drogba with a pass rather than try to beat Ritche De Laet for pace.  Though he nearly created a chance, this, for me, was a telling moment.  Where, exactly, is the player who used to smoke Nemanja Vidic (never mind perennial United loanee De Laet) and score goals for fun against the Red Devils?  Or how about the guy  whose blazing speed helped him score the winner in the final of the 2008 European Championships?  Sadly, I think the answer is becoming clear.  That player, like those £50M, may be gone forever.

Paul Lambert was apparently pretty frosted at what he deemed to be the excessive exuberance displayed by some Chelsea staff after Ramirez won a penalty that ultimately lead to Frank Lampard’s match-winning goal.  Really, the nerve of these continentals and their emotions.  A look at how Norwich was positioned after equalizing, though, suggests Lambert should mostly be angry with himself.  As the Chalkboard below indicates, Norwich maintained a high and narrow defensive line in the period after Holt evened the score.  This unbalanced 1-8-1 seems like a particularly odd tactic for a recently promoted club who was well-positioned to leave Stamford Bridge with a point.  What is more, it allowed Chelsea to attack from the wings and beat them on the counterattack, which they did in the build-up to Ramirez’s penalty-winning run into the box.  Rather than play for the point, Lambert seemed to want to kick-on and win the match.  It’s admirable when smaller clubs don’t park the bus, but sometimes discretion is the better part of, well, you know.  Lambert got greedy and got burned.

The Return of El Niño? Chelsea Hopes So.

Over the span of a few years, Fernando Torres went from sporting a coiffure vaguely reminiscent of Paris Hilton to being almost as useless as Paris Hilton out on the pitch. After struggling to find his form during the first half of last Barclays Premier League campaign, Torres joined Chelsea in a blockbuster transfer in January and basically disappeared. When spotted, he was seen skulking at the fringes of matches, looking generally out-of-sorts and ineffective. So, shortly after news of a potential breakthrough in the D.B. Cooper case emerged, it seemed appropriate that there was a Fernando Torres sighting during the Blues match against Stoke City last Sunday. Though he failed to score, Torres created a chance, attempted four shots and consistently challenged the Potters back four. Perhaps more importantly, though, he just looked livelier. To wit, Torres received 51 passes before being subbed off in the 89th minute last Sunday. During the last two matches of the '10/'11 campaign, Torres had a total of only 54 passes received, with a listless performance against Newcastle standing out as particularly fallow. If this improved work rate is a sign of things to come--and not just a false dawn--Chelsea will add to their trophy cabinet this year.

Michael Carrick--Good . . . But Not Good Enough for United's European Ambitions

As chuffed as Manchester United supporters must have been to watch their club rally from two goals back to pip Manchester City 3-2 in the Community Shield, Sunday's performance still left at least one important question unanswered. How will United overhaul the likes of Barcelona and Real Madrid in Europe with Michael Carrick in the center of the pitch. Now, to be fair to Carrick, he's a quality player who endures a hellacious amount of stick from the chattering classes on the Internet and in the Twittersphere. Just because some of this criticism is unfair, though, doesn't mean all of it is undeserved. After all, it was Carrick who gifted possession to Yaya Toure before he rifled home the winner in the FA Cup semifinal. And it was Carrick who looked simply overmatched during the Champions League final, attempting a meager 38 passes and connecting on only about 83 percent of them before being mercifully substituted in the 76th minute. On Sunday, it was Carrick's long, diagonal pass that Nigel de Jong intercepted to start the build-up to City's second goal. The fault for that goal should not pinned exclusively on Carrick, but one cannot envision Paul Scholes conceding possession so cheaply under similar circumstances. At least towards the end of his United career, the intensely private Scholes jealously guarded the ball as if it were imprinted with his ATM PIN; Carrick, if he's to inherit Scholes mantle as United's deep-lying pass master, must do the same. Carrick's apologists often note that he has an impressive collection of Iberian admirers, as both Barca's Xavi Hernandez and Real's Xabi Alonso, have lavished the midfielder with praise. What Spain's X-Men have politely omitted from their respective paeans is that Carrick wouldn't crack the starting XI at either Barca or Real. Carrick is not world class, and, with him in the center of the park, neither is United.  

The Loewdown on US Soccer's Superstar Gaffer

Finally, in Jürgen Klinsmann, the United States Men's National Team has its superstar.  Granted, he'll be on the touchline instead of the pitch, but, right now, Sunil Gulati, the president of the United States Soccer Federation, will gladly take it.  In his pomp, Klinsmann was a world-class goal-getter who plied his trade around Europe and netted 47 international goals in German colors.  His credentials as a player are impeccable.  His credentials as a manager, on the other hand, are less clear.

Klinsmann took his first managerial post in 2004, helming an unfancied German Man's National Team that seemed in danger of embarrassing itself as host of the upcoming World Cup.  Combining the ruthlessness he exhibited as a striker (in demoting the imperious Bayern goal keeper Oliver Kahn in favor the eccentric Jens Lehmann) with some New Age coaching methods (like the extensive use of a sports psychologist) that seemed to coax match-winning performances from supposed has-beens like Lukas Podolski, Klinsmann took Die Mannschaft on a fairytale run to the quarterfinals. Along the way, he also managed to restore the reputation of football in Deutschland and awaken a latent and relatively benign strain of German nationalism. He and his nattily clad assistant, Joachim Loew, were national heroes. Not a bad start, really.

Perhaps sensing that the sequel couldn't possibly live up to expectations, Klinsmann opted not to renew his contract with Germany shortly after the World Cup. Loew, who many theorized was the power behind Klinsmann's throne, has seamlessly assumed command and led Germany, now ranked third in FIFA's world rankings, to impressive performances at the 2008 European Championships and 2010 World Cup. Klinsmann, on the other hand, has struggled to build upon his sensational early success. Two years after leaving Germany, Klinsmann was handed the keys to the Bundesliga's most iconic, finely tuned machine--Bayern Munich--but Klinsmann's Left Coast Zen never quite jibed with the prestigious Bavarian club's more buttoned-down culture. With five matches remaining and Bayern 3 points off the top of the table, Klinsmann resigned. He hasn't worked as a manager since. 

Since their amicable separation in 2006, Loew has been the Paul Simon to Klinsmann's Art Garfunkel. With the USMNT listing towards regression after a disappointing Gold Cup, US soccer is hoping he can rediscover his mojo. Troubled water lies ahead. 

Copa America Time Machine

The Copa America wrapped up this weekend with a historic Uruguay victory. In some ways, though, it never really kicked off. Argentina and Brazil, the glamour sides and heavy favorites, sputtered to early exits. Lionel Messi failed to score for his country (again). And Paraguay managed to make the finals without actually winning a match (they drew all their group games and advanced on penalty kicks). Still, in spite of this, I enjoyed the tournament. The reason I kept tuning in to Univision's coverage, though, had little to do with the product on the pitch. No, my attraction to this year's Copa America was purely nostalgic. Just watching a match made me feel like I was 14-years-old again.

During the summer of 1990, my best friend/neighbor and I were looking forward to our freshman year of high school in southern Connecticut. We were also desperately looking for something to do. One day, after catching a Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right, we turned on Univision's coverage of the 1990 World Cup in Italy. Soon after, we were hooked.  Thanks to Sports Illustrated, we knew a couple of household names, but our ignorance didn't seem to matter. It was just so intoxicatingly different--the raucous atmosphere, the exotic, mononymous names and the language and style of the presentation. Not only did it give us the shock of the new, but also provided the thrill of the forbidden. Two kids who had yet to take a Spanish class had no business watching Univision, but it put us ahead of the curve. We felt like the only people that summer running around yelling "GOOOOOOL!!!!!"  Four years later, everyone and their brother would be aping Andres Cantor's famous call. In many ways, it was our introduction to the world: an epiphany that there were fascinating, foreign cultures about which we knew very little.  I'm not sure if I'll ever experience a feeling quite like that again.

We're no longer neighbors, but a little over two decades later, my friend was texting me throughout the Copa. Sure, he said, it's on YouTube, but he's watching Univision. I think I know why.

Derek Jeter in a Post-DJ3K World--What's Next?

Last weekend, Derek Jeter reached and eclipsed the 3,000 hit plateau with inimitable, Jeterian flair. But now that the warm glow of the DJ3K honeymoon has receded, the Yankees, as a franchise, could be excused for asking the Captain "What's next?" After all, they owe him $40 million more over the next two-and-a-half seasons. During the first week of Jeter's DL stint, Mark Feinsand of the Daily News, who appears on the "Daily News Fifth" segment of the Yankees' WCBS radio broadcast, noted that if you erase the names and look at the stats, batting Brett Gardner leadoff is a no-brainer.  That's not particularly insightful, mind you, but that kind of clear-headed, independent thought qualifies as revolutionary during a broadcast that features Yankee mouthpieces Suzyn Waldman and John Sterling.  Basically, if you bump The Captain off of leadoff, the only logical place to put him is at or near the bottom of the order.  And you can't do that to The Captain.  The horse (in the form of A-Rod's criminally insane contract) is already out of the barn, but the strained tone of Jeter's last contract negotiation suggests the Yankees have realized that the lionization of certain individuals isn't necessarily good for business, especially when you have one of the strongest brands in international sports history. What Jeter does next--in terms of accepting a move off of SS or a move down the order--will challenge the Yankees' powers of image management. In English soccer, there's a cliche that "No player is bigger than the club."  The Yankees may be belatedly coming around to that school of thought.

The Torres Experiment is Failing at Chelsea

Regardless of what happens during Chelsea's remaining Premier League fixtures, the first chapter of Roman Abramovich's Fernando Torres Experiment has to go down as an epic failure. As someone who had been scrounging for the positives in Torres play with the Blues (such as his passing ability, his header v Manchester United in the first leg of the Champions League tie and his good work with Yossi Benayoun v Wigan), his wholly anonymous and inert display in the second leg v United on Monday finally deep-sixed to my fading optimism. For most disinterested observers, only one conclusion can be drawn from the first half of Tuesday's capitulation--Fernando Torres is not the same talismanic presence he was for Liverpool and Spain from 2007-2009. In fact, he looks a completely different and vastly inferior player.
A couple of chalkboards (courtesy of the fantastic Total Football iPhone app) underscore just how ineffectual El Niño was on Monday.

Though Torres was playing in his preferred position as a solo striker, it can reasonably be argued that Torres' dearth of passes received during his 45-minute shift was down to poor service and Chelsea's overall lack of creativity in the center of the park.  However, it's notable that Drogba dropped into deeper, more central positions to get on the end of almost twice as many passes. Most importantly, his deft chest control at the end of Essien's assist (in yellow) is exactly the kind of skill and composure in front of goal that Torres has failed to demonstrate. One gets the feeling that if Torres was in the exact same position, he would have miscontrolled the pass or fluffed the shot. He doesn't just seem out-of-form; he seems like the victim of a alien abduction. Gone is pacy, explosive and ruthless striker who once terrorized the likes of Nemanja Vidić. In that player's place, is a sluggish, tentative simulacrum.

The chalkboard on the left speaks to the Torre's crisis of confidence. His one attempt to actually run at an opponent was a tame, unsuccessful effort in his own half. He just never looked like troubling United's back four, while Drogba was far more aggressive with the ball at his feet.
An Uncertain Future
The danger of any transfer for or free agent acquisition of a struggling superstar in any sport is that the acquiring team is actually paying for the player whom they remember rather than the player who currently exists. Abramovich, envision as the oligarch from the DirecTV commercials who I now reflexively envision as the oligarch from the DirecTV commercials, clearly paid for a player who he fondly remembered skinning Premier League defenders to the tune of 56 goals from 2007-10, rather than the guy who looked indifferent and aimless at times for Liverpool this season. It's possible that Torres could recover his world class form, but it's possible that he might not. If he doesn't, Chelsea will need a manager with a personality big enough to finally abort the Torres Experiment.

Post-Balotelli, Will Clubs Learn that Mad Genius Often Fails?

The latest Mario Balotelli implosion during Manchester City's ultimately futile Europa League victory over Dynamo Kyiv begs the question of when European soccer clubs will come to a realization that dawned on American sports franchises long ago--the benefit of phenomenal but volatile talent is often not worth the considerable cost. Granted, given that Balotelli couldn't quite make out how to put on his training bib during the pre-match warm-up of the fateful match, "genius" seems an inapt description. Not to infer that Balotelli is the only Premier League player who isn't a Mensa member; indeed, perhaps the most damning indictment of the intelligence of the modern footballer is that they often make boorish "pundits" like ESPN's Robbie Savage look positively clever in comparison. However, Balotelli stands out because while his physical gifts and natural skills are undeniably world class, his mental make-up falls somewhere between the schoolboy and Sunday pub league level.

Balotelli's Priors

And obviously, this isn't the first time the red mist has descended on the wilful Mario, as this epic display of petulance that occurred after his Inter Milan recorded a famous 3-1 victory over Barcelona at the San Siro last year can attest. His gesticulations both during and after the match were a response to a chorus of whistles that greeted an ambitious, wayward volley. To be fair, the tempestuous relationship between Balotelli, who was born in Italy to Ghanaian parents, and some of Inter's fan base has been complicated by rampant allegations of racism directed at him by Inter's ultras. Sadly, there's likely an element of truth to the claims that Balotelli was unfairly vilified by a bigoted segment of the club's support; on the other hand, he didn't exactly ingratiate himself to the rest of Inter's fans when he was duped into pulling on an AC Milan shirt on Italian television. There's absolutely no excuse for racism of any stripe, but when you play for Inter and you admit that AC Milan is your favorite club--another Balotelli faux pas--all bets are off. This obsession with loyalty isn't confined to soccer hooligans, either. For example, if New York Yankee phenom Jesus Montero admitted that the Boston Red Sox were actually his favorite baseball team, the reception he would receive at Yankee Stadium would likely be so obscene that the game's telecast would have to be rated NC-17. Ultimately, Balotelli's actions both on and off the pitch, suggest that Super Mario, while immensely talented, is a naïve, narcissistic and emotionally immature kid.

A Bad Bit of Business

Given the copious evidence of Balotelli's personality issues, it boggled the mind when City bid against themselves and splashed £24 million to rescue him for Inter last year, especially during a transfer season that saw Rafael van der Vaart and Javier Hernandez sold for fees reportedly under £10 million. Sure Balotelli's former and current manager, Roberto Mancini, has been able to coax 10 goals from the mercurial striker this season, but those have come against decidedly mediocre (at best) opposition (4 v Aston Villa; 1 v Fulham; 2 v West Brom; 2 v Salzburg and 1 v Timisoara). And with one of the biggest matches of the campaign approaching, Mancini will likely drop the wunderkind for cooler heads against Chelsea, tacitly admitting that the occasion is, at the moment, just too big for the player. If this happens, City fans are well within their rights to ask if a slew of goals against Villa and West Brom is the optimal return for £24 million. Couldn't Daniel Sturridge have provided that kind of production for a transfer fee of zero? In three years, the papers might be rife with stories about Balotelli finally fulfilling his vast potential, but he won't do so with City, who will likely have to sell him at a steep loss, most likely to AC Milan. My advice for the Rossoneri is simple--buyer beware.

Red Flags Mean Red Cards

American sports franchises--especially those in leagues, like the NFL, with salary caps--have been burnt by the seductive allure of mad genius before and have tried to develop mechanisms to minimize the risk of wedding themselves to a potential basket case. Specifically, the NFL administers the Wonderlic Cognitive Ability Test to and allows teams to conduct interviews with potential draftees at its scouting combine, all designed to allow franchises to understand the mental capacity of their future employees. Naturally, it doesn't always work (see Leaf, Ryan). Sometimes, you miss the red flags and end up with a lemon even after kick the tires. Nevertheless, in the NFL, there's at least the recognition of the possibility that a player's attitude or character could be so detrimental to a team that the harm he can do could actually supersede the value he can add on the field. Some players are literally more trouble than they're worth. Right now, Balotelli is one of those players. He should also serve as yet another admonition to transfer market buyers that a slew of impressive goals on YouTube and a din of hype does not a £24 million player make. Once the FIFA Fair Play rules actually start to bite, clubs that disregard this kind of fiscal prudence will do so at their own peril. So, in preparation for those regulations, you have to wonder if European clubs will ask to do a due diligence mental check on transfer targets to make sure they don't get saddled with the next Balotelli. After seeing his most recent meltdown, who can blame them.