Elizabeth Warren and the CILF Test

Last week, Elizabeth Warren launched a Senate exploratory committee to begin raising money for a possible 2012 attempt to wrest Ted Kennedy's old seat from Massachusetts Republican Scott Brown. Right now, I don't like her chances. And here's why--Elizabeth Warren looks like this.

In other words, Elizabeth Warren, despite all her impressive academic and professional qualifications, fails the Candidate I'd Like to F*ck (CILF) Test. Now, I don't mean that literally, and I'm not inferring that guys who voted for, say, Mitt Romney, in the last primary did so because they wanted to have sex with him (though that's an interesting theory).  No, I'm really using the CILF Test as a benchmark to evaluate if a candidate projects the sleek, prepossessing image that America expects from its aspiring politicians.

The CILF Test doesn't apply to old warhorses like John McCain or Rosa DeLauro. But, if you're an aspiring politician, it helps to look more like Scott Brown than Meg Whitman. Similarly, while veteran news anchors can look like old, leathery handbags, rookie newsreaders should appear as if they've just retired from the pageant circuit. Though none of this terribly superficial stuff should matter, it, of course, does. Just as the professorial Warren was forming her exploratory committee, Slate.com released a piece on what Google search terms were associated with various Republican presidential candidates. For Michele Bachman, who has more or less officially been anointed as "photogenic" by the popular press, "hot" and "bikini" were especially popular; while, for Romney, "hair" was unsurprisingly near the top of the list. When I Googled "Elizabeth Warren," terms like "harvard" and "books" popped up. Yawn. At the risk of sounding unkind, another term that comes to mind when I see photos of Warren is "great personality." If she hits the campaign trail, I hope she has one. She's going to need more than just her good looks to win back Ted's seat.

Is this a candidate you'd like to . . . well, you know?
That's what I thought.